How do you describe
time spent in the presence of God?
First I want to thank many of you who held me in prayer when
I went to the four-day silent retreat last week. I encourage you if you have
never gone on retreat, whether a silent one or one filled with life-giving
presentations, to try this spiritual practice. You will receive priceless
nourishment for your journey in life.
Even as a writer, I have difficulty finding the words to
illustrate these precious quiet days with God. So I will borrow a phrase from
Anthony de Mello:
Look at God…looking at you… and smiling.
I experienced being enfolded in the hands of God and beheld
in His tender, loving, and unfailing gaze.
I found this statuette and took multiple photos of this
father and baby since they best represent how I felt.
“You are precious in my eyes. I honor you and love you." Isaiah
43:4
Often at the beginning of a retreat, the director will
suggest some Bible verses that may guide us on our weekend. As soon as Susan
mentioned Hagar, I knew God was inviting me to sit with her.
Genesis 16: 8 – “and
he said, ‘Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you
going?”
I knew Hagar’s story. Having Abraham son, Ishmael when Sarai
couldn’t bare any children. And when Sarai did give birth to Isaac, Hagar and
her son were sent out into the desert. There the Lord promised to take care of
them.
What I didn’t know was the Genesis 16:8 verse above was
taking from the first time Hagar fled to the desert, while pregnant. I never
realized she left two times.
Oh, how those passages in the 16th chapter of
Genesis fed my weekend:
The questions: where
have you come from and where are you going?”
Sarai mistreating Hagar. Who was my
Sarai I was running from in life?
An angel searching for her and finding
her in the desert.
Hagar’s direction to return and submit.
God’s promise of hope.
Perhaps the verse that lingers now with me is verse 13: “She
gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are the God who sees me.”
"The God who
sees me"
We have a God who sees us. Whose eyes never leave us. Who
continually watches over us in love and delight.
"The most difficult thing in
mature believing is to accept that I am an object of God's delight."
Alan Jones
Alan Jones
I do struggle with the idea that God delights in me and
loves me unconditionally; after all who am I, but a mere flawed human. But
after a weekend of being saturated by His love, I know He tenderly touched me
deeply and began the healing of that misconception.
I leave you with a poem by Macrina Wiederkehr that took my
breath away:
O God
Help me
To believe
The truth about myself
No matter
How beautiful it is!
May you experience the awesome love of God and be held in His gaze.
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