You Alone - Lectio Divina - January 31, 2010

"We bring nothing at birth; we take nothing with us at death. The Lord alone gives and takes. Praise the name of the Lord!"     Job 1:21 (Contemporary English Version)

Job lost everything, Lord, and how did he react?  Did he curse You, ignore You, and deny Your existence? Did he whine, beg, or bargain?  No, he did only one thing:  he lay before You in worship. 

You hold everything in Your hands while I stumble through life falsely believing I am in control.

My heart’s desire, Lord, no matter in times of blessing or in times of sorrow, is to praise your name.

You alone are the Lord. You alone give us everything we cherish - families, friends, life itself.

You alone know what the next minute, hour, year will bring.

You alone fully understand the depth of shattered dreams, the pain of lost loved ones, and the heartbreak of betrayal. 

Daily I place my hopes, dreams, sorrow, disappointments, anger, bitterness, blessings, family, friends, writing, speaking, travel, worries and all I possess on Your altar, trembling as I let go. My eyes focus only on You, not the people and items I cling so dearly close to my heart. This is hard, Lord, to fully trust you, but I find my faith grows in the soil of praise.

Praise the name of the Lord. 

Above All, Trust in the Slow Work of God

Above all, trust in the slow work of God. 


We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. 


We should like to skip the intermediate stages. 


We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. 


Yet it is the law of all progress that is made by passing through some stages of instability and that may take a very long time. 



And so I think it is with you. 


Your ideas mature gradually.

Let them grow. 


Let them shape themselves without undue haste. 


Do not try to force them on as though you could be today what time
-- that is to say, grace --and circumstances acting on your own goodwill will make you tomorrow.




Only God could say what this new Spirit gradually forming in you will be. 



Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete. 


Above all, trust in the slow work of God, our loving vine-dresser. 
Amen.

Pierre Teilhard De Chardin wrote these words – words I have often read and pondered.

I get so caught up in the everyday rush and hassle of life – my eyes, and really my heart, racing out into the future, rarely embracing the present.

I am too often not content where I am now, wanting to “skip the intermediate stages” and get to the final performance. Confession – I have been known to peek at the last pages of a novel while still just starting the story.

Teilhard de Chardin was a native of France and a Jesuit priest who died in 1955. He trained as a paleontologist and even participated in the discovery of Peking Man.  I think it is interesting that as a priest and a paleontologist – he appreciated the long view of life.

The long view of life –

   -the appreciation of the gentle unfolding of the next stage

       – the pausing to value each moment as a new birth

            -the allowing each new thought, idea, and prayer its time to simmer into the fullest flavor.

This gives me hope in times when everything crumbles around me. Maybe the collapse is not death and destruction at all, but the walls bursting open with new life – like a cocoon spliting apart so the butterfly is set free. Or the crush of the outer husk of the seed so the new bud can grow. Or the shedding of the shell so we can stretch and grow in a new, larger home. Perhaps my worries, problems, and fears are not endings, but beginnings.

I live incomplete – a work in progress, yet I trust God will someday finish his handiwork.

Transformation occurs step by step – that is the nature of God; that is the slow work of God.

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. ~ Lao Tzu

Lydia, Dorcas and Phoebe – What do you know about these Biblical Women?

January 27 is the commemoration of Lydia, Dorcas and Phoebe by many churches including my own.  I noticed this in the bulletin insert on Sunday and realized I didn’t know much about these three women.  How much do you know about these women of faith?

Lydia – Act 16

·      First convert in Macedonia

·      Women had more freedom in Macedonia than in other parts of the Roman Empire so it is not surprising she was an independent and successful business woman.

·      Seller of purple – her region was known for its purple dye. Purple dye, made from a certain mollusk, was extremely expensive. One use of it was for the stripes in the togas of Roman senators. Lydia's occupation suggests that she had considerable capital

·      Later sponsor of Paul and the Philippian church in her own home implying wealth and influence.

Dorcas – also known as Tabitha in Aramaic -- both names mean "gazelle" -Acts 9

·      Peter brought her back to life

·      She is called a disciple and is seen as always doing good and helping the poor

·      Her death deeply affect those around her - imagine what her witness was after being made alive again by Peter!

Phoebe – Romans 16 - name means “radiant”

·      She was a leader in the church in Cenchrea, a town about seven miles fro Corinth. where she helped Paul significantly

·      Paul called her “our sister” in his letter to the Romans. Phoebe probably carried the letter with her to Rome

·       Paul described her as a servant of the church, possibly a deaconess

   Though the words describing the lives and faith of these women are few and from ancient times, they continue to guide us as co-workers in the work of the Church, illustrations of compassion and in using one’s gifts and role models for women in business, social ministries and church leadership.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. 
  Helen Keller

If the Creator had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely meant us to stick it out. Arthur Koestler

Boldness is a word that God has placed in my heart this year.  Ponder these bold women of faith – asking yourself what role is God calling you to?

YOU’RE MINE - Lectio Divina - January 24, 2010

Lectio Divina - a holy reading of the Bible slowly, savoring it, and enjoying it with the Lord – is the spiritual practice of sacred reading of the scriptures.  The intention is not to learn or gain information but to deepen our relationship with God. St Benedict encourages us to “to listen with the ear of our hearts.”

    Join me once a week for Lectio Divina. I will share a verse and a word that spoke to my heart.  Read and listen to the verses here. And gently ask God for a word or phrase that speaks to your heart for that day – that is what lectio means. Once we find that gift, we hold it, meditate, and savor its meaning. This step is called meditation. 

    Then offer that word back to God in prayer or the third step of oratio. In prayer we allow our real selves to be touched and changed by the word of God.

   Finally, we simply rest in the presence of the One who has used His word as a means of inviting us to accept His transforming embrace.  No one who has ever been in love needs to be reminded that there are moments in loving relationships when words are unnecessary.Come into the presence of the Lord.

    

 But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob, 

   the One who got you started, Israel:

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine.

When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.

When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end—

Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior.

I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!

That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you!

I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.

                                    Isaiah 43:1-4 (The Message)

You’re mine.

I had to read that sentence twice.  You’re mine!

Lord you sound like You mean what You are saying. I am sorry to doubt You, but after all You are the Lord, the King of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega and all those glorious titles angels sing about and a concept man barely grasps.

You say I belong to You?

Me?

Even when I neglect You? ignore You? Think just maybe I may be in control?  You still want me? Love me? 

Lord, You overwhelm me.

I read these verses and to be honest, deep inside, I wonder what you see in us.

You’re mine

I am not just some nameless object You created and check in on from time to time.

You don’t neglect me.

You don’t ignore me.

You know my name.

You stay with me.

You want a personal, moment by moment relationship with me.

I don’t understand You at all, Lord. But thank You for knowing me, for naming me, for claiming me as Your own.

WISDOM QUOTES

In honor of the removal of my wisdom teeth (see previous post for an explanation) I am sharing what others much wiser than me have written about wisdom:  

 “To understand reality is not the same as to know about outward events. It is to perceive the essential nature of things. The best-informed man is not necessarily the wisest. Indeed there is a danger that precisely in the multiplicity of his knowledge he will lose sight of what is essential. But on the other hand, knowledge of an apparently trivial detail quite often makes it possible to see into the depth of things. And so the wise man will seek to acquire the best possible knowledge about events, but always without becoming dependent upon this knowledge. To recognize the significant in the factual is wisdom.”   Dietrich Bonhoeffer

 “Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.” – Norman Cousins

 “Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” - Plato

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what others think of you” - Seneca     

“Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have -get understanding.
” Proverbs 4:7

“I believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few right things, and not caring a straw about the rest.” -John Buchan

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.” - Sandra Carey

“An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight. The truly wise person is colorblind.” -Albert Schweitzer 

“A child's hand in yours — what tenderness it arouses, what power it conjures. You are instantly the very touchstone of power and wisdom.”- Marjorie Holmes

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. “-Confucius

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”  -William Shakespeare, As You Like It

“Wisdom begins in wonder.” -Socrates

“There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart.” -Charles Dickens 

And to finish on a lighter note:

“A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.”
Herb Caen

“Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.” Samuel Palmer 

Let's Make a Deal - Bargaining with God

Have you ever bargained with God?   I suspect many of us if we are honest, have tried to tell God what to do, how to do it and even demanded when to have the job complete. 

I experienced that lately.

I still have three wisdom teeth who live happily in the back of my mouth. My goal was to hold onto them until I was at least 90.  But one is chipped and another decayed, so my dentist’s advice was to get them out. 

“Just make an appointment with the oral surgeon,” he said.

I hate dentists. And this suggestion of course put them even lower on my list. So my bargaining with the Almighty began.

“Ok Lord, if You really, really want me to do this, things have to be perfect.  But I expect they won’t be. I know when I call for an appointment, it will be months before I get in. The receptionist will be cold, cruel and look remarkably like the Wicked Witch of the West.  I will see cockroaches in the corner snacking on crumbs left behind by frightened children. The strong body odor of the slimy surgeon will cause my eyes to water. Of course they will have to give me large doses of anesthetic to yank my poor babies out. I am a control freak and want to stay in charge; medication may lower my defense mechanisms. I will say stupid things and my husband will laugh at me and make fun of me for years. Yes Lord, all this need NOT to happen for me to really believe this is a good step for me to take in caring for my body.”

You guessed it. Everything fell into place. The appointment arrived in less than two weeks. The receptionist was warm, friendly and sort of looked like Glinda. The office was clean – I didn’t see a crumb nor a cobweb. The entire staff acted very professional and when I shook the strong calm hand of the surgeon who sat down explaining all details to me – my heart heard the walls of resistance topple. He said looks like all three would be a simple extraction and if I wanted I could just have novocaine. 

No excuses. 

I think I heard God laugh that day.  “Answered the prayer just like you stipulated, Jeanie,“ God chuckled, “down to the tiniest detail.”

Me, a simple mortal, bargaining with the Almighty?

Not very humble of me, Lord. I apologize.

God is God and I am not.

Too often my prayer is full of requests and gimme’s like God is a gigantic vending machine. He does promise to hear our prayers, but I also need to listen, worship, and praise him more frequently.

When we pray to God we must be seeking nothing – nothing. St Francis of Assisi.

I seek You, Lord. Nothing but You.

Finishing Well - Lectio Divina January 17, 2010

 Lectio Divina - a holy reading of the Bible slowly, savoring it, and enjoying it with the Lord – is the spiritual practice of sacred reading of the scriptures.  The intention is not to learn or gain information but to deepen our relationship with God. St Benedict encourages us to “to listen with the ear of our hearts.”

    Join me once a week for Lectio Divina. I will share a verse and a word that spoke to my heart.  Read and listen to the verses here. And gently ask God for a word or phrase that speaks to your heart for that day – that is what lectio means. Once we find that gift, we hold it, meditate, and savor its meaning. This step is called meditation. 

    Then offer that word back to God in prayer or the third step of oratio. In prayer we allow our real selves to be touched and changed by the word of God.

   Finally, we simply rest in the presence of the One who has used His word as a means of inviting us to accept His transforming embrace.  No one who has ever been in love needs to be reminded that there are moments in loving relationships when words are unnecessary.

    Come into the presence of the Lord.

So here's what I think: The best thing you can do right now is to finish what you started last year and not let those good intentions grow stale. Your heart's been in the right place all along. You've got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. Once the commitment is clear, you do what you can, not what you can't.  2 Corinthians 8:10-11 (The Message)

Every year, Lord, I start with a bang of enthusiasm, launching new goals and plans for the coming year. I ask you for your blessing and guidance on each year’s new beginning.

But this verse in this unique translation stopped me cold. 

“Finish what you started last year” shouted to my heart and shook my good intentions into the light of day.  

What does this mean, Lord?

I recognize the sound of your quiet whisper and am aware of your tiny ripple upon my spirit. I feel your nudge - “look again upon 2009 - finish what you have started.”

I wanted to close the door on 2009, yet know you are calling me to intentionally look at that year of my life. I am not sure what I will find, but will take the time to reflect, listen, and learn.

The inscription at the National Archives in Washington DC reads:

THE PAST IS PROLOGUE.

So instead of throwing away or ignoring last year, I will dwell within its confines once again searching for what yet needs to be finished. May last year not be discarded into the trash, but used as a prologue, an introduction to 2010.

I live in human time, Lord, forgetting in you time has no boundaries. My years are arbitrary brackets. My calling to serve, worship and reflect you continues beyond my imagination. Show me Lord your lessons.

Listening Up for God – Moment by Moment

Do you listen up or listen down?

Hearing God clearly isn’t like turning on the light switch – suddenly everything is clear. Listening to where God is leading us often takes time, prayer, awareness, and hearing what others advise.

Whole books and semester long classes address discernment. Learning this skill is a task we will never complete in a lifetime, but is one that is constantly being refined and renewed.

When it comes to big life changing decisions – do I take this job? Should I marry this person? - I try to listen closely for God’s guidance. But when it comes to the everyday moment to moment living, I often go my own route only remembering God much later, often after I overcommitted myself.  I give way too much power to my to-do list and not enough to paying attention to the Lord.

Reading my emails this week brought this into focus for me.

I receive an e-newsletter called the Prosperous Writer by Christina Katz . She has authored two books - The Writer Mama and Get Known Before the Book Deal so the writer inside of me has great respect for her words.

Christina has been listing provocative questions to ponder in each issue of her newsletter. For example this week’s questions were:

On a scale of one to ten, how's your self-respect?

Can you say no?

Do you say yes to yield to social pressure and supposed-tos and then suffer for it?

Are you catering to too many other people's needs but burning out in the process?

Do you listen to and trust your instincts about what is and isn't the best way to proceed?

I have in the past struggled with saying no and Christina’s questions raised my awareness that once again this inability has taken over my ego.  My self-image is rooted deeply in accomplishing, being super women and doing it all. I take care of what others need and then stay up half the night doing writing the material God has called me to write. This is crazy, imbalanced, and not the way to use the precious gift of time.

Her last question perhaps helped me focus the best. Do you listen to and trust your instincts about what is and isn't the best way to proceed?

This implies pausing before deciding. Touching base with my heart – what is the best answer? Listening for the small quiet voice of God to provide much needed direction.

If I truly respect myself, I would say no more often to outside commitments and yes more often to my inside commitments – buried in my heart. By mistreating myself, I insult God.

So look out if you call me to do something. I won’t be giving you a quick answer and there is strong probability when I do reply, it will be no.

My slogan is now LISTEN UP!

Listen up – to hear God, not down to the world.

Prayer by Thomas a Kempis (1380-1471)

Grant me, O Lord, to know what I ought to know,

To love what I ought to love,

To praise what delights thee most,

To value what is precious in thy sight,

To hate what is offensive to thee.

Do not suffer me to judge according to the sight of my eyes,

Nor to pass sentence according to the hearing of the ears of ignorant men;

But to discern with a true judgment between things visible and spiritual,

And above all, always to inquire what is the good pleasure of thy will.

Making Friendship a Lifelong Priority

A friend died last week.

After hearing the news, memories flooded me – John installing a ceiling fan with my husband with a “blind leading the blind” type of sit com hilarity and for many years that fan rattled every time they turned it on, early morning coffees together on Saturday morning, solving the world’s problems and John showing us his new car while proudly announcing it was time to find a wife.  I smile remembering John.

Valuing our friends shouldn’t only come when we lose someone.

The past few years I have been trying to reconnect with friends from the past.  When I wrote my new years resolutions this year, that wasn’t one of them – I have added it so once again friendship will be a priority for me.  Making time for friends will be a permanent addition to my list.

Two of my best friends met in kindergarten. I was the latecomer joining them in sixth grade.  Wendy and Chrissy are lifelong childhood companions, now more like special sisters to me.

My friend Nancy is my role model for being a terrific grandmother. Elma and Barb taught how to be a kind mother.

Johnnie, Laura, Clella and Karen, writer buddies full of encouragement, guidance and support.

College companions – Herb, Kathy, Don, Margie, MaryAnn, Jan- who have walked with us through the ups and downs of life.

I received a Christmas card from a roommate from college that I haven’t seen probably in 30 years. She wants to get together this summer. Yes is my answer. I will make time to reconnect.

I asked a group of people a few years ago – do you have many lifelong friends?  Most of them replied no.  Many said they don’t take the time to nurture friendships.  A few said the end result was loneliness.

This walk in life is long, treacherous and sometime scary. The two friends walking on the road to Emmaus experienced together as their world turned upside down by the death of Jesus, then set right again by his presence. God gives us friends, companions for our journey – a gift I don’t want to neglect or ignore.

“A wise person wins friends.” Proverbs 11:30b (NLT)

“Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.” Proverb 18:24 (The Message)

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work." Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV)

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.". John 15:11-14 (NIV)

Do you any lifelong friendships?  How will you nurture friendship in your life this year?

Sowing in Tears - Lectio Divina January 10, 2010

Lectio Divina - a holy reading of the Bible slowly, savoring it, and enjoying it with the Lord – is the spiritual practice of sacred reading of the scriptures.  The intention is not to learn or gain information but to deepen our relationship with God. St Benedict encourages us to “to listen with the ear of our hearts.”

    Join me once a week for Lectio Divina. I will share a verse and a word that spoke to my heart.  Read and listen to the verses here. And gently ask God for a word or phrase that speaks to your heart for that day – that is what lectio means. Once we find that gift, we hold it, meditate, and savor its meaning. This step is called meditation. 

    Then offer that word back to God in prayer or the third step of oratio. In prayer we allow our real selves to be touched and changed by the word of God.

   Finally, we simply rest in the presence of the One who has used His word as a means of inviting us to accept His transforming embrace.  No one who has ever been in love needs to be reminded that there are moments in loving relationships when words are unnecessary.

    Come into the presence of the Lord.

The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. 

Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev.

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.  Psalm 126: 3-5 (NIV)

Sowing in tears

Yes Lord that is how I feel this week. numerous tears pouring out, spilling onto work that needs to be done. I have sown in tears.

One child’s dreams comes crashing down.

Another child struggles with a friend’s questionable decisions.

A good friend dies unexpectedly.

My head pounds with overcommitment as deadlines, not You, rule my life.

Sow is a word we don’t use much anymore. Sow - to grow, to scatter, to germinate.

Tears, usually associated with grief, loss, and sadness when combined with the work of sowing leads to a harvest of joy.  This is your promise.  I take one step at a time - one day at a time -under the watchful eyes of the heavenly Gardener.  As I cry, I work. I breath. I live.

Even through the tears, I keep my eyes on the Lord - who I know has done great things for me and does fill my heart with joy.

When dreams shatter, expectations plummet and losses accumulate, I cling to You - the one who knows exactly how to heal my broken heart and cultivate joy in my life.

In my tears, I find Your strength.  Through my tears, I find You.

I Surrender

“We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can,

Namely, surrender our will and fulfill God’s will in us.”  Teresa of Avila

I like control. The comfort of knowing what is happening and what to expect. The power to do what I need to do, on my self-created timetable, and in my own way.

Yet living out of my ego and self desires does not satisfy the emptiness in my heart. This God-created void nudges me to once again acknowledge my way isn’t the best way.  God calls us to live differently - to surrender our wills to Him and to relinquish the control, power and expectations we cling to so tightly. 

To be honest I sing the hymn “I Surrender All”  with my fingers crossed. Maybe God won’t hear me that day and I can still stay in charge a little longer.  Perhaps I can fool Him, hide from him like Adam and Eve did when they too sought power for themselves instead of seeking God, the all powerful. We live this life backwards with eyes focused on ourselves, not on God. 

The writer of the words of the hymn, “I Surrender All” is Judson W. Van De Venter. He attended college in Hillsdale Michigan the county just north of me. He was a teacher but struggled to live as God called him: as an artist and an evangelist. Even his friends urged him to use his strengths for God, but he denied it and stay in his safe profession for many years.

One pivotal day while praying on his knees,he said, “Lord if you want me to give my full time to your work I will do it, I surrender all to Thee.” Later he wrote the words of this beautiful hymn, remembering the exact moment he gave his entire will to God.

The words “I Surrender All” marks his tombstone - what a legacy. 

Enjoy one version by Brian Littrell from You-tube of “I Surrender All”:  

“All to Jesus, I surrender,

  All to Him I freely give;

    I will ever love and trust Him’In His presence daily live”  

This is my prayer.

Epiphany - Time to Bless your Home

Epiphany is my word of the week.
Epiphany - even the sounds of this word roll off the tongue in smooth, grace-filled manner.
Epiphany.


January 6 is when the church celebrates Epiphany, also called Theophany in the Eastern Churches, recognizing the visit of the Wise Men to the Christ child.

The word "epiphany" also means to have a sudden understanding or insight. Reading about epiphany this year did open my eyes with a new understanding of this long time Christian observance.  It also brought back memories of my 2006 trip to Germany.

Epiphany is an ancient feast, dating to the 3rd century in the East. In the East, the Epiphany feast pre-dates the Christmas feast, although the West knew of the Nativity Feast before the Epiphany feast. Originally the Epiphany celebrated the Baptism of Christ.  The Church in Jerusalem celebrated Christ's Nativity on January 6 until AD 549.

The Epiphany feast was introduced in the Western Church by the 4th century, but the connection between the feast and Christ's baptism was gradually lost. The Western observance of the feast soon became associated with the visit of the Wise Men. In the West, the Feast of Jesus' baptism is a separate holy day, and currently falls on the Sunday following Epiphany. In the East, the feast of the Nativity and the Epiphany gradually became two distinct feasts.

Various customs have developed around Epiphany. In the East, there is a solemn blessing of water.

In the West, in the Middle Ages, houses were blessed on Epiphany. The custom still exists in Europe today. The photo with this post is one I took in Germany showing a store that had been blessed for that year on Epiphany.

Holy water was sprinkled in each room with the whole family was involved. The father led the procession with a shovel of charcoal on which he burned incense and the oldest son had the bowl of holy water. The rest of the family followed along saying the rosary and/or singing hymns. While the father and oldest son were incensing and blessing the house, the youngest child carried a plate of chalk. The chalk had been blessed with a special blessing after morning Mass.

The father took the blessed chalk and wrote over every room that led outside: 20 + C + M + B + 08 which stands for "Anno Domini 2008 -- Caspar, Melchior, Balthasar" and means "The three Holy Kings, Caspar, Melchior, Balthasar, in the year of Our Lord, 2008" or whatever the year may be. The letters C, M, and B are also thought to stand for Christus mansionem benedicat, meaning "Christ bless this home." This tradition of blessing the doorways symbolizes the family's commitment to welcome Christ into their homes on a daily basis through the year.

I am going to say a blessing in each of the rooms of my house this year on January 6. May the spirit of God move into every nook and cranny of my home and my heart.

Thomas Merton's Prayer and Abraham's Faith - Lectio Divina January, 3, 2010

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. Hebrews 11: 8

Even though He did not know where he was going.

I feel that way most of the time, Lord.  Moving all the time yet not knowing where I am going.

Reminds me of Thomas Merton's Prayer:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. 
I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. 
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. 
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. 
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it. 
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. 

Yet Abraham took his next step on faith
Merton took his next step in trust

I will take my next steps into this new year and new decade with faith and trust.  Faith and trust that I cannot dig up on my own; I need you even to provide that, Lord.

I ask you tonight for your gift of faith like Abraham and trust like Merton to step out into the future “even though I do not know where I am going.”